Before I get started with my typical Friday rant du jour, let me preface the following thoughts by acknowledging the fact that I believe we humans should indeed be here to support one another. Interpersonal relationships are about give and take, compromise and helping one another through this thing called life. We all need a hand every now and then with our problems, crises and such. What I'd like to bring up, however, is that we have a responsibility to get ourselves as far along the way out of our problem as we possibly can BEFORE dragging the people around us into our drama.
Think about it...is it fair to expect someone else to have to be immersed in our misery if we haven't even put any effort into resolving or processing it ourselves. It is just like when a kid asks his mom, "Have you seen my shoes?" and she thinks to herself "Have you even looked for them?" We have become that lazy.We get all twisted up about something and, instead of working out a solution on our own, are quick to solicit the help of everyone around us. When some of us are depressed or down in the dumps, instead of taking ownership of our own condition and contemplating solutions to present, we walk around in a funk pulling everyone else into our black hole. When we hit the skids financially, shouldn't we be willing to exhaust every living possibility of making, conserving or securing money BEFORE expecting someone else to bail us out? Many of our lot have become too dependent upon others to "prop us up" emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, etc.
I don't want to get too carried away with this as my personal "kickstand" is probably reading this and I don't want him to think he can stop manning the crisis hot-line...but really...can't we become more capable of managing our own issues? We really could do a better job, couldn't we? How about making at least ONE step in the right direction by doing the following: When we get to a point where we feel as though we need to go to someone else, let's try to at least honor and respect their time enough to not just plop down and dump our stuff in their lap with the look on our face that says, "Can you fix this?" Let's put some real thought into our dilemma (after all we are the ones who got ourselves there), and go to others with not just a problem...but with our ideas of potential solutions. This way, instead of coming across as needing saving, we come seeking guidance and advice on how to save ourselves. Who knows, taking the time to come up with this extra step might even eliminate the need to lean on others altogether. The bottom line is, no one wants to be a burden to people they care about...so let's open our toolbox and see what we have to work with before we go pilfering through someone else's.
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