On a daily basis we are faced with circumstances that prompt us to seek advice or feedback from others. These may be the small issues like whether or not we should color our hair, go on that blind date we have been considering, wear this tie or that one, or where to meet for dinner, etc. These small exchanges throughout the day are our ways of connecting with people, of feeling part of a larger whole. After all, we probably already have strong opinions from which we could make comfortable decisions regarding which tie looks better or whether or not we should color our hair. The truth is, there is a comfort and fellowship we experience when including someone in these decisions...an invisible strand of trust extended...as if to say "let's do this together". Including this input from others at this level is healthy and normal and serves as a wonderful way to share in one another's lives.
On the main stage, however, where major transitions are being contemplated, we must be careful not to allow our panel of advisers to carry more weight than we do. As we are at a crossroad in our lives and are shaping our future reality, we must take the time to explore our own thoughts, ideas and dreams. Many times the only reason we solicit advice from others is because we either want to be validated in our own perspective or talked out of something we are already uncomfortable with. At times, especially on the grand scale of things, we often want as many opinions as possible so if the situation goes sour one day we can feel better that we were not the only one that subscribed to the plan of action. The problem is that this line of thinking serves more to protect us from being held solely responsible for a bad decision or to fortify our own argument than it is to seek genuine feedback.
The truth is that every answer we seek lies within. When we align ourselves with our own mind and spirit, and submit the question within, we become our own adviser. While we may believe we are not objective enough to offer ourselves good advice, it is only us that has to live with the full consequences of our actions, and therefore we must strive to listen closely for our own voice among those whispering in our ears. A good counselor, guide, friend, mentor or coach seeks not to implant answers in our minds but to accompany us on our journey as an emotional archaeologist, helping us excavate and discover the answers that already lie within us.
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Questions? Email Erin Williams, Houston Life Coach, erin@erinwilliamscoaching.com
I think we all just sought our own advice - you, me, Seb and came out the better for it. Being in touch with one's heart strings so you can hear the tune they are playing is central to leading an authenic life.
Posted by: patrick | February 01, 2012 at 12:51 PM