Have you ever wondered how some people seem happier or more content in spite of the fact that their life is as challenging, if not more so, than yours? If you notice a distinct difference in the way some people live, eat, breathe, walk, or talk and can identify a correlation between that behavior and their perspective on life, you might be on to something.
For the sake of argument, let's imagine all of the components that make up our life were tossed into a pie chart that was simply divided into HAPPY and NOT HAPPY. Even if it revealed to us that 85% of our life is great and that we are content and happy in those areas, we would likely be focused on that which is still "wrong". This is human nature...we are conditioned to want to fix things. Those are the items that get put on our internal "things to do list". However, many of us take this to an extreme and by constantly focusing on the few thorns on the rose, we begin to lose sight of the beauty of the overall picture...and miss the fragrance lilting on the breeze. If we become focused on the 15% of our life that "needs work" and give that our full attention, our energy flows to those areas, withdrawing from the 85% of our life that is great. The pitfall here is, that with this approach, even if you make progress in relieving some of the issues in the NOT HAPPY zone by throwing yourself into managing them, eventually the 85% of the pie that was great will start to diminish as it has not been cultivated, or even quite possibly has been taken for granted or ignored altogether. Many divorced couples can relate to this analogy when looking back at the failure of their marriage.
The key is balance and moderation. Start by recognizing and being grateful for what is filling up the part of the chart called HAPPY. Realize that those things are in that side of the chart as a result of some investment or presence on your part and understand that to keep them there you must maintain a certain amount of attention to them. Understanding and identifying the pieces that make up UNHAPPY is usually pretty easy. Those are the key issues rolling around in your head at night that keep you from sleeping, or to put it simply, that take the wind out of your sails. Embrace the fact that you have some areas and goals you would like to address, and balance your time and energy between the two different aspects of your life.
Going back to the people who we encounter regularly that seem so happy...it is possible that they have decided to focus on the 85%, encouraging that to expand gradually and thus minimizing the 15%. Keep a journal and note how growing one area can achieve the same result as diminishing the other. A moderate approach will allow you to address your concerns while still cultivating and feeding the very well that you draw from daily.
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